Stories around my fantasy trilogy -
Breaking the Tranquillity of Solitude.From Jaws to Lock Stock
Last week I performed my version of my favourite film monologue so to come back to the UK so to speak this week I’m working on “re-working” Guy Ritchie’s classic Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels with Bacon’s famous market pitch. I’m going to attempt to rehash it to be a EDJ Publishing version. For now here is the original :-
Bacon:
Right… Let's sort the buyers from the spiers, the needy from the greedy, and those who trust me from the ones who don't, because if you can't see value here today, you're not up here shopping. You're up here shoplifting.
You see these goods? Never seen daylight, moonlight, Israelite. Fanny by the gaslight. Take a bag, c'mon take a bag. I took a bag home last night. Cost me a lot more than ten pound, I can tell you. Anyone like jewellery? Look at that one there. Handmade in Italy, hand-stolen in Stepney. It's as long as my arm. I wish it was as long as something else.
Don't think because these boxes are sealed up, they're empty. The only man who sells empty boxes is the undertaker, and by the look of some of you lot today, I'd make more money with me measuring tape. Here, one price. Ten pound.Eddie:
Did you say ten pound?Bacon:
Are you deaf?Eddie:
That's a bargain. I'll take one.
Bacon:
Squeeze in if you can. Left leg, right leg, your body will follow. They call it walking. You want one as well, darling? You do? That's it. They're waking up. Treat the wife. Treat somebody else's wife. It's a lot more fun if you don't get caught. Hold on. You want one as well? Okay, darling, show me a bit of life then. It's no good standing out there like one o'clock half-struck.
Buy them, you better buy them. These are not stolen, they just haven't been paid for, and we can't get them again. They've changed the bloody locks. Here. One for you. It's no good coming back later when I've sold out. "Too late, too late" will be the cry when the man with the bargains has passed you by. So come back next week to see what I can make of it 😊
Watch the original here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeztSCCX6VY Eddie
